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Monday 18 August 2014

The Shadow Inside

In the recent light of the passing of Robin Williams, I came to understand that it was possible suicide due to depression. I wrote this story based on the idea of depression and my understanding about it. It's a tribute to Robin Williams you could say. Here's what I wrote:


***

                My name is Johnny. Johnny Forester. That’s all I remember about me. I don’t know how old I am, who my friends are and any other basic information I should know. All I know is this: I’m stuck in a dark place. There are walls on every side. There’s a door. I don’t know where it leads to. Looking out, the place is like a labyrinth. I have no idea how I came here. I just came to and I found myself here. Heck, I don’t even remember being unconscious. How did I come here?

                The freaky part is this: I woke in a room. Four walls and a door at the other end of where I lie that leads into oblivion. It was empty save for a dried-out note that states:” Beware! It does not stop! Eyes like ember and teeth like daggers. IT DOES NOT STOP. KEEP RUNNING. YOU CAN’T HIDE”. If being in a place like this and that doesn’t scare you, you’re one heck of a guy.

                I pushed myself up, thinking of what I should do. Should I just sit here or should I move? What will happen? What dangers lie before me? I was just about to finish another thought when I heard a distant growl, a low grumble from beyond the walls. I have no idea what it was or what it sounds like. All I remembered was the note and I knew instantly that I couldn’t stay here. It wasn’t safe. I had to move and move fast. I stood up and crossed the room in a heartbeat. I opened the door and ran out into the darkness of this prison of mine.

                The place was dank. Dank and dark. Dank and dark indeed. Even though it was dark, it wasn’t to the extent of being pitch dark. It was eerily lit up. How? I do not know. It just was. The lighting was a soft yellow glow and it moved with me. It did not go very far from me neither was it close to me that I could not see where I was going. The noise was gone so I slowed my pace to a walk, taking in my surroundings. It was just a straight walk but it was creepy. The walk wasn’t creepy but the walls had scratches and dried blood all over. Some even looked like messages written across the walls but it looks like time has played its part and it was unreadable. I walked further down until I stumbled upon two doors – one to either side of me – which I could enter or to continue walking. The place looks like it will go on forever and I do not know if I’ll be able to return here if I forgo this place and I have not the items to mark my journey.

                I turned to the room on my right, turned the handle and opened the door. A cold gust of wind rushes out at me, forcing me to close my eyes as it struck me. It smelled so musty as if it has not been opened for centuries. I finally understood what it must be to be an archaeologist opening up a tomb of some ancient Egyptian Pharaoh. I found a note attached to one of the walls. It told me to never look behind. That didn’t make any sense. What could go wrong if I looked behind? Thus, I left the room and I wanted to enter the opposite door. Problem is the door is missing. The hallway has changed its shape entirely. Where I was at a straight hallway with two doors, I stand now at a crossroad with a door at my back.

                The growling began again. It was nearer this time. It was coming from my right. I looked to the right, into the growing darkness of the labyrinth and I saw two orbs of fire glaring at me. As I stared into it, it stared right back at me and it was then that I realized that the orbs were becoming bigger and bigger and increasing in speed. I found that I was not moving. Is this what it means to be frozen in fear? No! I can’t let this happen to me right now. I drew on all my willpower, turned myself and ran into the left hallway.
***
                ‘Is he okay? He doesn’t seem to be that way ever since his wife left him’, said Richard, Johnny’s best friend. He was on the phone conversing with another close friend of theirs. Richard just sent Johnny home from the bar.

                ‘He’s been drinking a lot lately. Never knew him to be a big drinker. He’s lost his wife and his job. Never knew things could hit a person so hard so fast’.

                ‘Yeah, sure, I’ll keep you in touch’. The conversation over the phone ends.

                ‘Hey man’, said Richard. ‘I’ll have to leave you here. As much as I would like to stay by your side through this time, I have my own family to look after as well. Will be back to see you tomorrow. Sleep well. Goodnight’.

                Richard leaves Johnny’s bedroom to the sound of his groans. He walks into the messy living room of Johnny’s. Everything was a mess. There was a table overturned in the corner, shattered glass over the floor, photo frames hanging sideways on the wall as well as the floor, torn pictures and food and bottles everywhere. He would have to come back and help clean up one day. But for now, he left.

***
                I continued running, heeding the note and not looking back. I heard not any footsteps behind me but there was that roar of a hungry, hungry monster. As I sprinted down the hallway, I spotted that I was running into an empty room. No doors, nothing. There was no turning anywhere. Is this it? I’m at a dead end aren’t I? I took my chances and dashed into the room. If I had to die, at least I gave my all trying to escape. As I entered the room, I spotted a red button on the left wall. I hammered the button and to my surprise, there was the sound of electrical whirring as the walls behind me closed just as the beast hit it. The sound of a frustrated, hungry animal pounding at the walls that just closed rang behind me. I believe that that is what relief sounds like.  Another whirring came about and a room came into existence ahead of me. I walked into it.

                I never knew that technology as advanced as this could exist in a godforsaken place like this. Lights came on as I entered this newly created room. It wasn’t very huge but it was empty save for a huge frame sitting on a pedestal. How it was able to keep itself balanced, I had no idea. This place defies the laws of physics. I approached the frame and attempted to touch it. However, as my fingers drew close to the frame it flickered and turned on like a television would. I kept my hand to myself and began to watch its display. It was... what was it playing? Was it playing out my life? I can’t remember anything. But it has to be me isn’t it? Yes, that man there looks like me. I was married? I don’t even remember. And I stared into the flickering light of that magical frame-television; all my memories came rushing back to me. I was married, yes. She left me for another man. She took our child into her custody; our daughter which I loved so, so much. She took her from me. I lost my job not long after just because I was drinking my sorrows away. I never drank much, save for the occasional social ones. I lost everything. I was a man without hope. I’m pathetic, I’m miserable. Was there a way out of this? I doubt so. Then the screen said turned dark and in huge white letters, displayed:

FIND THE EXIT

It exploded shortly after and the cracks of the walls were running down with blood. I realized I was crying then. I didn’t move. I was just waiting for my end. As the blood engulfed me, I was just waiting and counting down to the moment I would die and my life would be taken away from me. To my disappointment, I did not and when I opened my eyes, I found myself in another room just like the one I woke up to in the beginning but with notes all over the place.

                The notes varied in their messages. There were those that preached hopelessness and death and there were those that said that there was hope. There was this particular one which said that there was an exit. There was a way out of this place, out of this hell I am now in. I don’t know which way I should follow. Nothing matters to me now. If I live I live, if I die I die. Instructions were giving as to where the exit would lie. The note ended in saying that I have the chance to change what I become. The past is the past but I should make the most of what I have in the future. It was a hope given, it sounded real and true. How true, I did not know, but it sounded like a chance to take nonetheless. I memorized the map drawn and as to where the exit would be. I dropped the note and exited the room and into the labyrinth once again.

                It was eerily calm and quiet. The only sound there was, was the shuffling of my feet on the floor. I took every turn I had to take and I found myself at the exit. It was just there: a door with a huge exit sign above it. Somehow I felt like it was mocking me. I took a deep breath and opened the door and what awaited me on the other side scared the life out of me. Right before me stood – or floated – an apparition with ember eyes and teeth like daggers. Its mouth smelled like a thousand corpses – how I knew that, I do not know – and it was staring and grinning at me – if anyone could know how a black apparition could grin – and I knew that I was done for. I was ready anyway. I couldn’t turn and run. I did not have a chance to react. It came up to me and devoured me.

                My whole vision went black and after a few seconds, I regained my vision only to find myself free-falling into the streets below me. It was dark and there were cars everywhere. The pavement came up to me in a flash. There was a sudden thud. A bone cracking crunch. Then darkness.

***


                The morning news read this: Man found dead, falling off the 5th floor of a condominium. Cause of death is suspected suicide. Investigations are being carried out. Man identified as Johnny Forester.


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Remember, depression kills.

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